Tvarog or quark cheese
Marjoram, salt, pepper and that
Fresh thyme, dill, and chervil
Please, *please* don't refer to this as 'pasta'.
The first three ingredients are combined to make dough. You can add a bit of sour cream or yoghurt to make it a better consistency.
If you don't have access to a proper range of off milk, you can use ricotta instead of quark/tvarog. It won't be the same but it is acceptable. You could even use cottage cheese, but I will diskard you.
Boil potatoes (until they fall off when you spear them with a fork). Chop up the onion and fry it until translucent. Blend or otherwise mix all the filling ingredients together.
Make wee circles, or whatever whimsical shapes you desire, from the dough. Fill with some filling (you may've noticed I am lax with the quantities- I will not tell you how much to make, or how to size your dumplings, that is your affair) and seal edges with water.
Boil. They float once they're ready. I served them with some smietana over the top (sour cream but not like sour cream really, get it from the Polish shop), but you can leave it plain or use sour yoghurt.
If you like, you can dry them off in a strainer and then wear the strainer on your head.
This recipe seems like quite a lot of faff but is actually fairly simple considering the absolutely blinding payoff. Srsly, it's that good.
Mince meat (either beef or pork or veal, or a mixture), 1 pack
White onion, quite big (too big to fit in your mouth, like)
Breadcrumbs (or 3-4 of sliced white)
Anchovies (tin of, fillets)
Sour cream, natural yoghurt, or just milk
If you have sliced bread, blast it in a blender until it's all to pieces. The bread needs to be *finely* crumbed, otherwise the end result falls apart. (All is not lost, you can have it as kind of a stew, but it's better if you don't fail.) Once you have crumbs, soak them in milk until they're all wet and most of the milk is gone.
Chop the onion finely. Likewise the anchovies. Zest the lemon and mix it into the meat along with the soaked breadcrumbs, garlic, egg, and half the capers.
Capers are sort of obscure and there isn't really any substitute for them- the first time I made this I used green olives, which have some of the flavour, but they are a peculiar sour-bitter-but-nice taste which isn't easily replicated. So they are worth getting.
Once it's all mixed, shape into balls.
Boil your potatoes and rice together, they take about the same amount of time anyway.
Prepare a large deep saucepan with water and boil the meatballs. Don't stir them, they're prone to breakage. How long to boil depends on how big they are- you can always cut one open to see if it's gone grey in the middle.
In a separate pan, heat some oil and whisk in a bit of flour. (Or not- this is just a basic white sauce so you can do it your normal way). Once it's combined, add the juice of the naked dezested lemon and the rest of the capers. Then Gradually add the milk or whatever- I use some milk with a few dollops of sour yoghurt. The sauce should have a distinct lemonicity.
Serve with meatballs on one side of the plate and potatoes/rice on t'other, all ensauced.
The Kasnudeln are from the province of Kärnten (Carinthia) in Austria, which is where the vampires come from. They probably don't eat Kasnudeln. Since Central European cuisine has not reached a certain level of hauteness yet, least not here (when was the last time someone told you they were having spätzle, to sound pretentious- well, besides me) the glories of various dumplings aren't as widely proclaimed as they ought to be, but you can fill them with anything and they will be spiffy.
And the other is dumplingsfromKönigsberg, i.e what was the capital of Prussia (hence 'five metres of ingredients'). Which no longer exists. This is supposed to be the best Prussian dinner of all; I don't think it's a bad thing to be outlived by.